Three In One

"All of the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." - Acts 2: 44 - 47

This was one of the awesome passages that was looked at in today's sermon. Church today was unreal. We held service at the middle school to fit three different congregations that had gathered together to acknowledge that we serve One GOD. It was so amazing. We gathered together, not as three separate churches but as one group of followers. Kevin, Jeff and Darrell delivered a combined message of God's Word. The theme was "What If?" God is definitely moving through the hearts of searching servants in this community of Spring Lake. People are being placed in certain positions for a reason. People are living in this area for a purpose. There is no random about the opportunity that God is giving us to be apart of His church. To be apart of His love for people. So with all this in mind, there are some what ifs that we should take a hard look at and try to answer.

What if we start living like God is the bigger picture instead of our own lives?
What if we start to live as the church of the past instead of meet to create more programs?
What if we gave what we had to others who are in need instead of putting away for a rainy day?
What if we start to ask what we can do for our community instead of ask why isn't there more for me to do in this community?
What if we depend on the Holy Spirit to guide us instead of looking for a way out?
What if we put others first instead of fulfilling our desires?
What if we believe the Holy Spirit is able to heal instead of accepting the pain?
What if we choose to carry our cross despite the fact that the world says different?
What if we are asked to sacrifice status, comfort, our desires and our initial thoughts all for the glory of God?
What if we are asked to be small so He can be great?

I am ready. I am scared out of my mind. I know that it will be sacrifice. I know that people will not understand me or even accept me. I know that my dreams are just comfortably serving God in a mediocre way. I know God has designed me for more than that. So my dreams must change. I take on the knowledge that the end result will be more than I can ever imagine. To get that end result I realize I may never experience or have the things of this world that I thought were normal desires of the heart. But I choose to serve an almighty powerful God who has created me to live in this world, but not of it. I pray my desires change to that of my Savior.

What if God is enough?

More, so much more.

There is a dying generation out there. Towns, communities, cities that are filled with empty hearts, active minds and searching souls.
I've yet to break the shell of my existence. I have yet to fully submerge myself in the only Water that will truly allow me to be free. I've dabbled. I've tried to bottle it up and sell it as my own. I've carried the hydration pack on for days and never bothered to take a sip or offer it to someone else in need.

There is a dying generation out there. Children who know nothing of commitment, justice, peace, joy, comfort or love. All they know, all they can wrap their minds around, is cruelty, ignorance, sex and depreciation of oneself and others.
I've yet to truly seek out my Maker. I have been blindly calling my baby steps growth. Oh I give an example here and there. I lecture on rights and wrongs. But I have yet to show the Holy Spirit evident in me.

There is a dying generation out there. Friends and family who don't speak to each other. They put on fake smiles and hide truths because they are afraid of the judgement that will be made on them. They are afraid to be different, to show flaws, to know better.
I've yet to be completely honest with myself. To look at myself and see the contradictions. To see the confusion I bring to friends and families with my actions and my words.

I don't know all of the things that God has planned for my life. Let alone the community or church I am able to be a part of at this moment. But I know that there is a dying generation out there and I have within me the Holy Spirit. And He is mighty and able to do great things. I feel an urging. I don't know what direction it will take me. I don't know what sacrifices I will have to make. But I want to be willing and ready. I want people to look at me and see that God is real. That He is evident. I want so much more than what I am using now. Because there is a dying generation out there.

It's just You and me.

I have been on an incredible David Crowder Band kick lately. My friend Chris was OBSESSED with the band a couple years back and got me hooked, but the cds were replaced by newer bands and different music and so forth. I was looking through my old cds the other day and ran across my DCB collection. Such amazing lyrics and worship. I seem to have a certain song that kind of moves my day and I just stick it on repeat.
There's been a heaviness that has been pressing on me lately. It's not exactly bad. I feel better than I have felt in quite a while. I've laughed harder than I have ever laughed since last summer. God has been phenomenal in showing how He is all I need. Not only that, but learning all over again how to just be with Him has been humbling and exciting! But there is this extreme weight. To lift burdens off of others. To pray 24/7 that the Holy Spirit will intercede with words I cannot find to alleviate the pain, illness, sorrow, depression, emptiness and much more that seems to lay heavy in the hearts of those that I love and cherish.
I turn to music. It's my outlet and my personal way that I feel closest to God. My way of praising Him, praying to Him, begging Him, surrendering to Him, laying myself before Him. Today I was driving home from a meeting and the sky was unbelievably brilliant. It was foggy clouds with breaking sun and patches of rainbow. "What a glorious day, today! How great Your love for us, how great!" - DCB
I was listening to "Only You" by DCB and I hit the repeat button for half an hour. I closed my eyes (split second!) and raised my hands in complete worship for Him.
You see we are so worried, or at least I am, about the steps that we are taking and if they are leading to the right direction. We look into the future and say today is the day that will set the course for tomorrow. And while there may be truth in that, there is something so precious we look over. TODAY!!! I am so guilty of it. I feel like I need to read extra long in my Bible because I had a negative attitude instead of simply adoring His words to me. I say that this year God is preparing me so that I can be at a different place next year. What trash! Not that He is not preparing you, but what if yesterday was preparation for today and we are so worried about getting tomorrow right that we skip it? Mind boggling I know, but nonetheless.
I was driving and listening to this song and God placed so much peace on me. I lifted up prayers for loved ones and knew that God answered them in His perfect, loving way. I want every moment to be Only You Lord. I want it to be just You and me.
"Take my fret, take my fear, all I have, I'm leaving here.
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams, be all my delights, my everything.
And I will, worship, You Lord, only You Lord.
And I will, bow down, before You, only You Lord.
And it's just You and me."
- DCB

Praise Him under open skies...

It seems that lately everyone is carrying around a heavy burden. This weight that is pressed on their hearts. Some of them don't even know it, myself included. I woke up in great spirits on Monday. I was determined to change my perspective on life, the cards I had been dealt, and the way I viewed my circumstances. I walked into a fellow teacher's room to wish her good morning and she stopped me before I could say anything. She looked at me and sighed heavy. I asked her what was wrong.
"I don't know, you tell me Gray."
She said she could see this weight in my eyes and she just wanted to take it away.

I am so grateful for that kind of friendship. I am so humbled that I have people that care about me. I feel a pressing need to find ways to lift burdens off of people. I see it there in their eyes. I hear it in their sighs. I feel it in their silence. It is so heavy. So thick with emotions and built up walls. People are slowly closing themselves off like they have a safety valve switch. It's as if the world is not enough of an answer anymore and the end of the rope was miles back. So people decide to wrap up the pressing burden that they carry. They may complain and make it known, but the depth of it that weighs heavy on their hearts is hidden. Masked behind sarcasm, a smile, lies, activities, or ignorance.
We've forgotten the power of God. We know He has power. We understand that He is mighty to save. We pray for deliverance. But we've minimized God's potential. His amazing ability to feed thousands, heal lepers and make the blind see. His promise to come back, to give us peace, to overcome a world filled with trials and sorrows (John 16:33).

"You are not just a person living your life by human power. The Spirit of God is in you; that is why Jesus said it was better for Him to go and the Spirit to come. Don't walk away from this." - Francis Chan "Forgotten God"

How long are we going to walk around as empty vessels? How long are we going to try to reach out to God when His spirit already dwells in us if we believe? How long?
God I pray that you continue to break me. Don't let me be settled in a life, in a world, that is not my home. Help me see past broken technology, mindless meetings and a fallen world. Don't let it consume me until I am so weighted that I can't lift my hands and praise You.

Praise Him under open skies, everything breathing, praising God,
In the company of all who love the King, I will dance, I will sing,
It could be heavenly, turn the music loud, lift my voice and shout,
From where I am, from where I've been, He's been there with me,
He's built a monument. So let His people, His very people, SING SING SING!!!!
- David Crowder Band

Rediscovering Scripture

Have you ever read something and you understand what you have read? Or maybe you read something and you know what it is that you have read but you take it for granted that it was even readable? I know that sounds a little silly, but I do that a lot with scripture. I will get up in the morning and "ho-hum" my way to a passage. Maybe it is a random selection just so I can say I read part of the bible today. Maybe I read Hezekiah because I like the sound of it that day over John. (I'm just KIDDING!!!)
For whatever reason, I pick up my bible and I read. God is big and so my shortcomings of choosing a passage do not get in the way of Him showing me powerful things in His Word. It is even more impressive though when "rediscover scripture"!
The times where I read a passage and it was not so random I just sit back amazed at what God has shown me. For instance, I went to Boone recently to visit some great friends and my old church. The sermon was on resolutions. The scripture was in Colossians. Now I am going to be perfectly honest. I have read Colossians about two times. I think of the phrase G.od E.ats P.op C.orn when looking it up in the New Testament. I consider it less interesting than the other three. (we do notice that I am making the reading of God's Word TOTALLY about me right now, right?) Before this sermon I couldn't tell you what it was really about.
The sermon was based out of Chapter 3. Chapter 3 basically has a list of things to stay away from and is talking about setting what you think about and how you live your life to that of God and not of worldly things. Sorry it that is a crude summary. It also talks about the things you should uphold (the fruits of the Spirit) and talks some about wives, children and husbands. Oh yes, and slaves. I was listening to the sermon and a part of that chapter really stuck a note with me.

"When Christ, who IS (emphasis mine) your life appears,
then you also will appear with Him in glory." - Colossians 3:4

HOW AMAZING IS THAT!!!!! I literally just read that over and over for several days. God just didn't want me to let go of that verse. I realized how true that is and the impact that God has on the life HE HAS GIVEN ME. It was like I had another piece to this crazy puzzle called life.

"I am not mine own, I've been carried by You, all my life. Everything rides on hope now. Everything rides on faith, somehow. So when the world has broken me down, Your love sets me free!" - Addison Road

God has consistently been trying to make me realize the truth and honesty of really dying to yourself. The implications. The sacrifices. The complete death that is required of my selfish desires, wants and needs. Because my life was not created to do ANYTHING but glorify a Holy and Worthy God. My life does not belong to me because CHRIST IS MY LIFE. Every paycheck, every mood swing, every greeting or grumbling, every lesson plan, every thought, every song played, EVERYTHING belongs to Him. To His glory.
Do I do this consistently? No. Do I refuse to choose Him over me? A lot. Does it stop the fact that even when adversity strikes or my selfish will takes over, that He still deserves and expects greater from me? No.
Lord forgive me when I falter. Forgive me when I fall down and I choose my weakness to serve myself. Show me daily Your ways and open up scripture to me as a guide to serve You and others in all that I do.

The second part of resolutions

So the first part of the resolution process is conviction. Are you convicted enough? Do you realize the importance of changing your behavior, plan, aspect of your life to actually resolve to change it? Either we can admit we are too selfish to change or sacrifice our comfort for a new commitment to change. I for one have been entirely way too selfish in my ways to change several aspects of my very comfortable life. Although I felt conviction and knew change was necessary, I have used countless excuses and blamed others for my lack of gumption. But after conviction, after taking steps to really solve a problem and know that it will be for the better, comes the second part that plays a vital role in making the resolution real.

Commitment. Whew. That is a scary word. People throw this word around all the time with no concept of the gravity it holds. Let's go to the definition shall we?

Commitment: the trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of a purpose

Someone has a goal in mind. A purpose. Let's look at marriage since we are all aware that the word "commitment" is heavily used in that area. A guy and girl decide they have feelings for each other and eventually assume or feel that they have fallen in love. The guy ask the girl to marry him. To commit to him. They agree together before God and other witnesses to commit to each other and a life where decisions will now be proposed, debated, collaborated, and carried out as a team. Where you are no longer working through life as an individual, but as a pair to display God's love and glory, not only through your own actions, but as a created unit. It is one of the most priviledged responsibilities. However, in America this act of commitment is all too often not taken sincerely and with a steadfast fixity of purpose. People get married for the wrong reasons; they get married based on "feeling of the moment", fear of loneliness, fear of "this is as good as it is going to get", feeling pressured, filling a void that should be filled and sustained by God. All these different reasons, and then when push comes to shove, when the going gets tough, it is over. The commitment was acknowledged, but not taken seriously. In fact there is a WEBSITE dedicated to divorce rate in America. How sad is that? I realize that truly I cannot report clearly on marriage or divorce being as I have never experienced either one. However, this is a common issue in our lives. A classic case of failed commitment.

This being said, once we realize we are truly convicted of our problematic areas and want to resolve them, we make the resolution which is in essence, a commitment to fix them. So why are we not steadfast in our fixity of this purpose?

Well I know that I personally start a lot of the things I commit with my own personal gain in mind. When I do this, it is a lot easier to break the commitment once I no longer am interested in my personal gain. Or my personal gain shifts to something else. For example, I really know and acknowledge that having personal time set aside for God every day is not only going to strengthen my relationship with Him but change my outlook on life for everyday occurances. I know this. I make the commitment with my ultimate goal not getting to know God better or glorifying Him, but so that my days will feel easier and I can feel good about myself. The commitment fails the day that everything else is going on and I feel tired and my goal of making my day feel easier now includes dropping that intimate time with God to free up time. I made the commitment, but for the wrong reasons. For selfish reasons.

So to really make the commitment I need to find the right reason for the commitment. Where my feelings or my own selfish desires won't hinder my steadfast resolution.

1Corinthians 10:31 says that whatever we do, we should do it for the glory of God. Our commitment, our resolution should be with the intent or purpose of glorifying God. Our resolve to change should be so that when people look at our actions, when they view how we live our lives, they can see an example of how to glorify God. ( Matthew 5:16)

I pray that God places a brokeness in my life that I depend on Him fully. That I make commitments to people and to myself that will depend on His strength and will glorify His name.