There is something to say about new beginnings. You know those moments where you have a fresh start? Where it is as if the slate is clean? Funny thing about those moments. I usually just pretend that the slate is clean. I tell myself that since I am in a new environment, a new moment, a new surrounding, that I can just be something new that I create myself. I can put on this great front and say that I have truly forgiven myself. I can say that I am stronger. I can say that I wasn't hurt or damaged for the long run. I can say that I am good, and right, and ok with the world and I have everything under control.
Except I am not honest with myself.
See, the thing that is wrong with that passage is that there are a lot of "I"s in there. A lot of me. Not a lot of Christ. And that has been my ploy for many years. It's not that I didn't believe. But I believed under my conditions. I believed to the extent that I thought I was capable. Look, there I go with the "I" thing again.
The Bible says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His perfect and pleasing will." Romans 12:2
I never noticed the word "pattern" before. The scripture doesn't just say to not be like the world, but do not be like the "pattern" of this world.
It's that sick cycle. That generational curse. That feeling of "everybody is doing it". The thought process of "I'm just having a bad day. I will be better tomorrow."
God's will for me is to be like Him. God's will for me is for there to be no "I". So that when I step into a new situation I can truly believe and say that God has truly forgiven, He has made stronger, He has healed the broken and damaged, God is good and right and has everything under control.
