So I don't really like change. Most of you who know me, know this. In fact most of you who know me know that that statement is an understatement. That when change happens, no matter how much I am prepared for it, I become very stressed, very anxious and very agitated. I do it now like second nature. Unless I make the change happen or cause it on purpose in some way, I freak out. It's all part of my mild OCD. Those of you who know me know about that understatement as well. However, it has become my goal to NOT be opposed to change. Slowly things have come to mind that have made me realize that to fully rely on God, to be in His hands on purpose with a commitment to Him in mind, I should be open to change. Especially change that is not initiated by me.
I also realize it is time to start focusing more on what God has been trying to tell me instead of my own selfish desires.
I know this my be one of my shortest posts and probably one of my most vague. Strangely I am not really ready to delve into all that God is revealing to me. It is a very tender place for me. One that I want to be willing to jump head first into, but one that I am very much uncomfortable in treading. I feel like for the first time I am actually going to places I am not sure of and therefore, really don't know what to say except that God has amazing plans.
I want to be bold. I want to love God and people like crazy. I want to want all of Him even when I don't feel like doing it. I want to be seen as weird and not right and not of this world. I can't have it all in my viewpoint, but I can have all I need in His hands. God keep me focused on that.
prayer requests:
a friend who is hurting
Real Life Church
our growing youth
my school, the teachers, and the students
a friend who is troubled
YEAH!!! my mom got the job! my family needs prayer for their new life style adjustment.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Do I WANT to Believe the Truth???
Here are some great little snippets from Galatians 5:
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - 5:1
"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." - 5:6
"You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you." - 5:7
I love that last one. Maybe because it deals with a race, and currently I am trying to make it my summer goal to run a 10k. Or maybe because sometimes I feel like this verse. I feel like I am on the "right" path. That I am making good choices, I have a great attitude, I haven't sinned in 4.5 days, I have taken all my vitamins and then BAM! Something happens and I feel the bitterness, the injustice, the unfairness, the unequality of life seep into my soul and I start to resent, to doubt, to scramble around for a filler for the emptiness.
I was running a good race! I was feeling great! My time was awesome and the day was sunny but cooling. Who in the WORLD cut in on me??? Who just sped up, dropped right in front of me and started a slow crawl?? The audacity. Now I have to circle around. Now I have to work extra hard. Now I have to find a different path. NOT COMFORTABLE! NOT OK!
Or maybe I was running this great race and the water stand not only had water, but had other goodies as well. And the helper that was passing them out was very convincing that I should just not finish this race. There would be other races. There would be another opportunity. There would be another moment where I could shine. Why rush NOW? Why not just do it halfway like I have done in the past? Why not just take a break from the race? I can pick it back up later right? That kind of persuasion did not come from the ONE who had set me on the course in the first place. That kind of persuasion is a lie. That kind of persuasion is not the truth.
I know those last two statements are not necessary. Clearly if something is a lie then it is not the truth. But do we really know that? Do we really see that for what it is? Sometimes I don't. Slowly I am starting to understand that there is a difference and I am starting to make sure I am aware of it. I start to run the race and I feel good and then I get persuaded that I should stop and make other things my priority. But it is a LIE. Who cut in on me? Sometimes it is work, sometimes a friend, sometimes the overriding desire to be in a relationship, sometimes it is me. I want to start surrounding myself with TRUTH.
Lie: I need someone to be with because I am alone.
Truth: My God will never leave me nor forsake me. He knows the desires of my heart.
Lie: I can't accomplish anything.
Truth: When I am weak, His strength is shown. He will give me what I need to accomplish His will.
Lie: I need things in this world and people's approval.
Truth: My God is sufficient. He supplies all my needs.
The list goes on. Time and time again something or someone tries to persuade me. And time and time again God reminds me of His truth. I just have to believe it. And I do.
Prayer Requests:
my mom searching for a job
Real Life Church
Darrell and Robyn selling the house
my summer plans
Josh in Cambodia
Overhills Middle staff and students
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - 5:1
"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." - 5:6
"You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you." - 5:7
I love that last one. Maybe because it deals with a race, and currently I am trying to make it my summer goal to run a 10k. Or maybe because sometimes I feel like this verse. I feel like I am on the "right" path. That I am making good choices, I have a great attitude, I haven't sinned in 4.5 days, I have taken all my vitamins and then BAM! Something happens and I feel the bitterness, the injustice, the unfairness, the unequality of life seep into my soul and I start to resent, to doubt, to scramble around for a filler for the emptiness.
I was running a good race! I was feeling great! My time was awesome and the day was sunny but cooling. Who in the WORLD cut in on me??? Who just sped up, dropped right in front of me and started a slow crawl?? The audacity. Now I have to circle around. Now I have to work extra hard. Now I have to find a different path. NOT COMFORTABLE! NOT OK!
Or maybe I was running this great race and the water stand not only had water, but had other goodies as well. And the helper that was passing them out was very convincing that I should just not finish this race. There would be other races. There would be another opportunity. There would be another moment where I could shine. Why rush NOW? Why not just do it halfway like I have done in the past? Why not just take a break from the race? I can pick it back up later right? That kind of persuasion did not come from the ONE who had set me on the course in the first place. That kind of persuasion is a lie. That kind of persuasion is not the truth.
I know those last two statements are not necessary. Clearly if something is a lie then it is not the truth. But do we really know that? Do we really see that for what it is? Sometimes I don't. Slowly I am starting to understand that there is a difference and I am starting to make sure I am aware of it. I start to run the race and I feel good and then I get persuaded that I should stop and make other things my priority. But it is a LIE. Who cut in on me? Sometimes it is work, sometimes a friend, sometimes the overriding desire to be in a relationship, sometimes it is me. I want to start surrounding myself with TRUTH.
Lie: I need someone to be with because I am alone.
Truth: My God will never leave me nor forsake me. He knows the desires of my heart.
Lie: I can't accomplish anything.
Truth: When I am weak, His strength is shown. He will give me what I need to accomplish His will.
Lie: I need things in this world and people's approval.
Truth: My God is sufficient. He supplies all my needs.
The list goes on. Time and time again something or someone tries to persuade me. And time and time again God reminds me of His truth. I just have to believe it. And I do.
Prayer Requests:
my mom searching for a job
Real Life Church
Darrell and Robyn selling the house
my summer plans
Josh in Cambodia
Overhills Middle staff and students
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