The song that is running around in my mind right now is that old song that goes, "Momma said there would be days like this, there'd be days like this my momma said." I have already cried, lost my temper, and thought of many different things I would rather be doing than being lashed out at by a student. I don't like this feeling of losing control. It's been a little crazy today. And somedays are like that.
In this moment of detachment to restore a sense of self, I hold in a very clingy, fetal fashion to my God. Mainly because He is the only One who is going to restore me to sanity for another day. He is the only One who can tell me that it is not based on my feelings that I took this job or love these kids. It is the calling that He has placed on my life to be at this opportunity at this time to carry out His works and pass down His love and promises to children who don't know.
I just wanted to take a break to type that out. To remind myself when the next day comes. Right now I need to meet individually with the students God has given me to care for in a loving way. I need to see what I can do to be better at what I do. I need to reorganize my thoughts. I need to give them a plan so they don't feel so threatened by chaos. I also need to tell some of them to get over themselves. Much like I was told when I thought everyone was out to get me.
I love these kids. I love these kids. I truly love these kids. Even on the days like this.
2 comments:
I love this..it's nice to see honesty and bravery still exists in this world. You're livesng a great impact on so many discarded lives.
You are amazing and I am honored to be your man! Love ya Babe,
P.S. You have what it takes and God has given you the gifts, talents, and abilities to love them like He does.
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